THE BLOG

18
Oct

My Secrets To Healthy Living

The old saying goes “Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a pauper.” So every morning I pillage my neighbor’s oatmeal and newspaper because I’m the Viking King. Then I don’t eat for the rest of the day; I don’t want my status to depreciate.

I go running every day. Even if I’m on my honeymoon at a secluded Cabo bungalow that doesn’t have a treadmill, I’ll jog outside the premises until I get lost. Then I will sprint through scary Mexican backstreets with tears streaking off my face.

I don’t drink soda unless I’m at the movies — or a friend’s house and soda is offered. I don’t eat junk food, unless I’m at that same friend’s house and a hot dog falls on the ground and I’m dared to eat it. Then I’ll chase that hot dog with nachos, a milkshake and several deep-fried Twinkies.

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06
Oct

The Ultimate Long Island Experience.

Since this blog’s rise to prominence, I’ve been repeatedly stopped on the street. My hand shaken. My groin cupped, teeth inspected. Told to walk to the end of the block and back to measure the purebred regality of my gait.

And I’ve been questioned. My God, the questions. “David, will you rank the Top 100 Long Island Diners?” “David, it hurts when I blog — what am I doing wrong?” “David, my toddler won’t eat strained beauregards, should I go back to minced carrots?”

But the most frequently asked question I get is this: “David, what is the Ultimate Long Island Experience?”

This is the only one I’m comfortable answering. And here is what I tell those curious minds …

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