It’s Halloween! Which means it’s time for your entire office to dick around.
Here’s how to get the focus back on work whenever a scantily-clad witch casts a stagnation spell over your workplace.
Some months you get drunk on Zimas and hire every college grad in the lobby. Some months you’re forced to layoff every employee whose last name starts with a letter between H and Z.
Here are the best, and most preferred, methods of laying off your staff without unwanted friction.
Professional wrestlers get the job done. And they do it with panache — a distinct confidence and swagger absent even in the cockiest Ivy League grad. And the hair! My God, the fabulous hair!
Clients are constantly asking me: “David, how do I boost traffic?” To which I always respond, “Traffic is the worst. It took me an hour just to drive to this dumb industrial complex. Why don’t we work on ways to LESSEN traffic?”
By the time this exchange is finished, I’m usually back on the road (in traffic!) wondering where the meeting took a wrong turn. More importantly, I’m wondering how the heck to navigate through the congested parkway.
Regardless of whether the cause of traffic is a eight-car pileup or a tasteful nude at an intersection, each of us must generate ways to preserve a pleasant traffic demeanor, such as:
But what is the end-all solution to traffic malaise?
Some say it’s a positive attitude and common courtesy. Others say its aggression. Sheer, berserker-style aggression.
I’ve averaged a two-hour daily commute for the past six years. This is what I’ve found helps:
Social media has destroyed the notion of praise. Not a single one of us takes the time to lift one another’s spirits, because we have built-in devices specifically serving that purpose. Now, affection is a tiny counter reading “Retweet” or “Favorite” that must be replenished every day. When did we become so impersonal that we considered +1 a higher honor than a signed letter stating “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. I’m sorry, I’m leaving you for Roger.” People just don’t put the same time and commitment into praise.
Thanks to the Internet, consumer/industry communications are more sophisticated than ever before. From the comfort of our own homes, we can call the people at Sabra douchebags, the CEO of Sabra a racist or the human relations director at Sabra a prude philistine ashamed of the human body. After the break, we’ll examine how to utilize the glass-door transparency of consumer/industry communications to your advantage. What we won’t discuss is how my interview at Sabra went.